http://www.personalitypage.com/html/INFJ_per.html
http://www.personalitypage.com/html/INFJ.html
Three weeks ago I sat face-to-face with my "therapist" and explained to her that in previous weeks I just hadn't felt like myself. I gave her some pitiful spiel about not being able to perform the way I should, about the stresses of housework, parenthood, and academia and the anxiety of being newly engaged. I was crumbling under pressure and all I could do was try my best not to break down in tears the way I'd done just three weeks before in an office up the hall from this one.
She was welcoming. She did exactly what I suppose "they" are taught to do during clinical trials and in-the-field training during graduate school. We lightly touched on the subject chronic anxiety and depression, and a resulting hardship withdrawal from school if things became too hard to bear.
Only two sessions after my initial consultation, I can say that I've made the right decision to "get help" for my condition, although I haven't been diagnosed with any particular mental/emotional issue. I attribute most of my problematic behavior to just being a selfish, picky person. My personality type suggests that I'm prone to depression and - without proper adjustments - crippling procrastinate tendencies.
I'm always upset. Paranoid. Anxious. I've been suicidal. I've thought suicidal thoughts. I've shown signs of multiple personality disorder, and borderline personality disorder. I'm almost sure I've had manic states of behavior. I've had moments of disassociation, where my body's been controlled by some outer-worldly force.
I have also been a victim.
At 21, several years since the last episode, I find it difficult to admit that I was sexually abused as a pre-teen until my latter teenage years.
It's been a long time coming for me, but I believe that I'll be ok. With a lot of motivation and an even bigger push, I know I'll be able to get through this.
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